


gotta blame it on my juice, baby

by livelyvague



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Blow Jobs, Come Swallowing, M/M, Masturbation, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, like genuinely not even a single line of plot it's just cum
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-06-22 08:46:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19663885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livelyvague/pseuds/livelyvague
Summary: Patrick gets a little...insecure and has some ideas to fix it.





	gotta blame it on my juice, baby

**Author's Note:**

> this was based off a tumblr post and then it devolved into this. this isn't edited or anything but i think you will all enjoy it regardless. thanks HLC's for the support for this i hate you all
> 
> title is from "juice" by lizzo well because.....y'know, you'll see

It’s not that Patrick is panicking, it’s just that he is scared shitless, and okay, yes, definitely panicking. They’re going to be completely alone for _hours_. Patrick wants David. Patrick wants every single thing he can offer. Patrick wants David in ways he has never allowed himself to want anyone before. David is intoxicating, mouth watering, thigh tremble inducing, and completely intimidating. He was experienced, he had probably done everything Patrick’s wanted and beyond that. 

Patrick wanted it to be good, for him and for David, too. He wanted to give everything, or at least some of what he had to offer. When he got home from closing the store, and before going to Stevie’s that night, Patrick immediately hopped into the shower. Wanted to be ready and clean for David. As soon as he got out, he reached for his phone and sat on the bed still undressed. Though he didn’t have enough time to do the entire expedition of gay porn he thought he needed to, he still set out to find some information. Just _any,_ that would make him feel a little more at ease.

He got lost in it for awhile, quickly falling down a rabbit hole. Reading article after article, numerous blog posts and then he even read some weirdly personal stories from social media websites. Needless to say, Patrick was overwhelmed. He was excited, but now after reading over and over about how to make your ‘me juice’ taste better for your other partner, he was worried. He cringed reading about what to drink and what to eat to make _his semen_ taste better. Patrick had never thought of it before, he never wanted to spend any longer thinking about sex than he needed to.

Sex was always a means to an end for Patrick; he can’t say that he hated getting his dick sucked but none of it was ever as _earth shattering_ as he expected. It was awkward movements, jumbling limbs, and a good amount of waiting for the situation to be over with. It was different with David, immediately. The minute they first kissed, Patrick knew that this was _it_. He felt the tingle of his lips for hours afterwards. When David’s hands were running their way up his chest and raking his fingernails over his nipples, he saw fucking stars. The friction of David’s groin against his own drove them both mad. 

So, Patrick was scared. For David to see him, completely bare and vulnerable. To reveal parts of him not many others have seen. Patrick reminded himself that it was David, and they wanted each other. They wanted this, _needed_ it, even. It wasn’t another uncomfortable hookup with a woman and it definitely wasn’t Rachel. Excitement was thrumming under his veins as he went to pick up David from the motel. The articles about what to eat and what to avoid left his mind pretty quickly, letting the nerves and lust take over his thoughts instead. 

Earth shattering couldn’t even begin to cover how Patrick felt that night. Before he can even think about what he tastes like, he’s unraveling and coming hard. David takes it all in stride, lapping it with his tongue and swallowing with a smirk creeping at the sides of his mouth. None of it was perfect–Patrick didn’t last nearly as long as he wanted and came after only a few seconds that he was in David’s perfect, wet, hot mouth.

After he regained his composure, he reached out immediately for David. Pulling him into a deep kissing, wanting to taste himself on his tongue; it was bitter and all _new_ to him to taste when kissing someone. 

Touching David was exhilarating and he was so full of want that he didn’t have time to be embarrassed or hesitant. Operating only on the need to make David feel good. After David released in his hands, Patrick had an idea. Without thinking twice, he brought the hand with David’s remaining cum on his hand and popped a finger into his mouth. It was warm and definitely sweeter than what he tasted of himself on David’s tongue earlier. 

Patrick took that information and put it in a box in his brain that he would remind himself to unpack later.

***

 _This is stupid_ , he kept telling himself. Patrick knows that they had fun that night at Stevie’s. That it shouldn’t matter what he tasted like. He knows this. Yet, he here he was, standing in the middle of a juice aisle.

Sex mattered now. It was fun, nerve racking in the best ways and something he actually looked forward to. They were gonna be alone at Patrick’s house tomorrow, Ray _finally_ would be out of the house for the night. When Patrick found out, he immediately texted David and then started drinking as much water as he could handle. 

He remembered the bullet point on a website, **_Load Up On Water_** _: Remember that semen is mainly made up of water, so the more of it you get him to drink, the more diluted his load will be._

Patrick cringed at the thought and reached for a pineapple juice. Every single website he checked said juice was the best option for a good taste. Patrick cringed again.

He contemplated leaving the store right then, getting in his car and pretending he never even thought of this. But he did, and he was here with the juice already in his hand. So, he grabbed two, just in case. He brought it to the self-checkout and bought the juice.

With his dinner that night he poured himself a glass of pineapple juice. It was sweet and it wasn’t like it was a chore to do. He was glad he had ended up buying the juice, but wished he hadn’t needed an insecure freak-out about _his own semen_ to get there.

Patrick finished his first glass and poured another. 

Later that night in bed, his thoughts began to wander. Remembering the way David’s mouth felt on his, soft hands roaming his body, whispered words in his ear. Patrick shivered beneath his blankets. He quickly brought a hand down to his cock and eased it out of his boxers. He knocked his phone off the nightstand reaching for some lotion, but he didn’t pay any attention to it. He didn’t waste anymore time, he grabbed his length and started working himself.

Eyes shut and head thrown back, trying to imagine David’s hands on him instead. David wouldn’t be as quick and desperate. He’d take his time, make Patrick go fucking wild before even touching him. Patrick cock twitched in his hand and he sped up his movements.

He bit his lip as he felt himself tense up, knowing he was gonna come soon. Patrick tried to paint a perfect picture of the way David looked when he came. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, he wanted to see it again and again and again. Patrick could almost hear David’s moan from that night and it brought him right to the edge.

“David,” he whispered harshly as he spilled over onto his t-shirt and on his hand. He lay back spent, breathing heavily from the orgasm and from the will he had to keep himself quiet. Patrick looked hesitantly down at his own come covering his hand and before he could feel shame, he brought a finger up to his mouth to taste. 

_Huh_ , Patrick thought.

It was different from the night he tasted himself on David’s mouth. Pineapple juice was his new best friend. 

***

Finally, the next night had come. David and Patrick had an entire empty home to themselves. Patrick’s skin had been buzzing all day, electricity between him and David as they went about their work day. He felt even a little naughty, thinking about it as customers were all around them. It was so new with David; the consuming feelings of wanting to be close with another person, wanting them so wholly and badly. 

They barely made it five minutes before they ended up on Patrick’s bed, shirts off and trying to find any friction they could. David worked a nice bruise under Patrick collarbone, one that his work shirts would hide but that Patrick could see every time he was shirtless. Patrick was rutting his hips up against David and already breathing heavily. 

Patrick pulled David back up for a searing kiss, nothing coordinated or clean about it. David moaned into it, now rolling his hips in rhythm with Patrick’s. 

“Wait, wait,” Patrick said pulling back. David immediately stopped and looked at him wide eyed. “No! No, this is good. I just. Don’t wanna...come in my pants.” 

David gave a soft laugh and nodded his head, dipping it again to bring his lips back to Patrick’s.

“Then, let's get you out of your pants.”

Patrick’s throat went a little dry, making a fast motion to reach for his belt and to shimmy his jeans and briefs off. David did the same on the other side of the bed. They both found each other again, skin to skin, melting into each other like they were designed to.

“I want you,” Patrick breathed.

“You have me.”

Patrick shivered, even though he was sweating. “I want your mouth,” he clarified. “On me.” His pupils were blown and chest peppered with red across it. He hadn’t been drinking all this _fucking pineapple juice_ only to come not in David’s mouth. 

David moved down his body, nipping not as softly as he did last time they did this. His chest was wet now with spit and the cold air hit it as David moved to the base of his groin. Patrick’s cock twitched as David moved his legs apart and bit the inner crease of his thigh. 

“David, want you,” Patrick babbled. 

Just like that, David’s mouth was on him, the warmth now surrounded him. If his skin wasn’t on fire before, it definitely was now. His hands were immediately in David’s hair, fingers curling around a thick strand. 

David took his length in further, humming around him. Patrick tugged slightly and David moaned, almost _obscenely_ around him. His hips jutted up into David’s mouth and he cursed at himself for not being able to keep still.

“Sorry, David, fuck.”

David only swallowed him further, swirling his tongue on the underside and moaning around his cock. Patrick was completely undone, letting the world slip away from him and chanting David’s name like it was a prayer.

“David,” he panted, tugging at his hair harder. “I’m gonna come. Take it.”

And David took it. Patrick came with a jolt, trying to keep his hips from snapping up and failing hard. David swallowed every last drop and continued to softly suck as Patrick went soft. 

“Hey,” Patrick hissed. He was too over-sensitive, so he lightly grabbed David’s head and brought him back up into a kiss. There was that taste in his mouth again. _His_ own taste on David’s tongue. 

“Sorry,” David smiled. “You taste so good.”

Patrick blushed. David had noticed. He felt silly again, and then weirdly proud. That thought dissipated as he traveled down David’s body now, ready for him to fill all of his senses.

***

David padded softly back into the dark room with two glasses of water and set one down by Patrick. Then shuffled in on the other side, wrapping his arms around Patrick’s middle.

“Why do you have so much pineapple juice in your fridge?” David questioned. Patrick’s face went a little pale and he coughed. 

“I-I like it. It’s good for you. It was on sale,” he spit out quickly. David just raised an eyebrow and laughed. 

“M’kay, those were like _three_ different reasons, babe.” It was Patrick’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “Okay, shut up. I didn’t say that. We’re talking about why you feel the need to drink so much pineapple juice.” 

Patrick bowed his head, feeling embarrassed and like he was caught in a lie he knew that he didn’t have to hide.

“I heard it’s just like, better. For the receiver, you know?” He said it softly, not looking right into David’s eyes. He looked back up, wanting to connect and wanting to be direct. Patrick was tired of hiding, even if it was over small stuff like this. “I’m new to this. Liking...sex. I like it. I want _you_ to like it as much as I do.”

“Patrick,” he replied. He was tracing small circles into his arms but stopped so he could take Patrick’s hand in his. “I like having sex with you. I like the _taste_ of you. Juice or not. I promise.”

Color was rapidly coming back to Patrick’s face and his insides felt warm and like they were buzzing. 

“Okay. Juice or not,” he repeated back David’s statement. “But you liked the juice?”

“Yeah,” he said laughing. “I liked the juice.”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! you can find me on tumblr @[patrickanddavid](https://patrickanddavid.tumblr.com/)


End file.
